My soulmate online: how I stopped waiting for the ideal and started noticing people
I didn’t believe in the dating site https://www.sofiadate.com/dating-tips/signs-hes-thinking-about-you for a long time. It all seemed frivolous. People come there for attention, entertainment, or at best, to “check” and see if they get lucky. I wanted something real, but I didn’t understand how to find it among profiles, swipes, and emojis.
The first experience was trivial. I registered, uploaded a photo, wrote a couple of lines: “I love books, walks, and honest people.” A couple of hours later — likes. A day later — correspondence. But it felt like you were talking in the dark: it seemed like someone was nearby, but you couldn’t see their eyes, you didn’t feel the pause, you didn’t understand whether there was a living person there or just a polite set of phrases.
It all started with a banal "hello"
It was a regular correspondence. No sparks. No flirting. Just a normal, calm dialogue. About coffee, about favorite movies, about oddities at work. I even thought: "Well, another correspondence out of dozens." But on the third day of communication, I realized: I don't want to be distracted. I catch myself thinking that I'm waiting for her messages. That I smile when I see her name in notifications.
We didn't build illusions. First - a chat, then a call, then a meeting. Without unnecessary pathos, without expecting perfection. Just: "Let's meet and see how it goes."
And it was - simple. Without awkwardness. Without the feeling that you need to "like". We just walked, talked, were silent. As if it wasn't the first time. As if there was already something.
What did dating really give me?
Not only this meeting. But - the skill to distinguish. To separate sincerity from the game. To feel a living person behind the words. And don't chase the ideal. I realized that the ideal is not appearance, not "matching 10 points", but a feeling of calm nearby.
Online dating teaches a lot:
- Stop rushing.
- Don't perceive silence as a disaster.
- Talk honestly, without images and masks.
- And don't be afraid to leave if it's not yours.
And if it doesn't work out?
That's okay too. Dating doesn't have to end in a wedding. It's not about the result, but about the journey. Sometimes you just find a person with whom it has become a little easier to live. And sometimes you learn to let go.
The main thing is not to become embittered. Not to become cynical. Not to turn the search into a stubborn battle. Because in dating, the winners are not those who "sell" themselves best. But those who remain human. With humor, honesty, patience.
The ending you believe in
Today we are together. Not because the filters matched. But because they wanted to hear each other for real.
And I still think: I could have missed. Not written. Scrolled. Got tired at the right time. But I didn't miss. And that means it was worth trying.